Did you enjoy “The White Lotus”? What the holidays teach us about relationships
If you’ve watched “The White Lotus” on HBO, you know that holidays get sidetracked. Over cocktails on the beach, away from the monotony of work and the kids, you and your partner may realize what makes you more — or less — compatible.
“You learn some of the nuances or quirks about a person’s personality when you travel with them, for sure,” says Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Does this mean that vacationing together can end the relationship for good?
Vacations can certainly teach us a lot about relationships, experts say, but they don’t necessarily create or break relationships on their own.
The White Lotus season 2 finale: who died? Who cheated? who stole And what does all this mean?
What does the holiday tell us about our relationships?
- Expectations are different for different people. “Some want to relax and unwind,” says Laura Pettiford, a licensed marriage and family therapist. Others seek adventure, learning, discovery, or a combination of these things.
- Our partners may have hidden parts of their personalities – but it’s not always outrageous. “Take the new things you learn as information,” Brown says. “But try not to judge those things.”
- Having said that, definitely pay attention to your partner’s behavior. “When traveling with a partner, I pay close attention to how they treat workers such as hotel staff, vendors, and tour guides,” says Melody Lee, LMFT and founder of Inclusive Therapists. Their attitude toward the people who work in the service of travelers provides much insight into their values, especially since travel is a privilege and luxury that not many can afford.
In case you missed:What to know about gender affirmation care for transgender and non-binary communities
The more you know:Does conservative dating app The Right Stuff have the wrong idea? Yes and no.
Are vacations actually a “test” for relationships?
Yes and no.
“The stakes are higher because vacations often involve an investment of time and money and are typically at a distance from home that leaves both parties out of their element in a shared space for a set period of time,” says Pettiford. “There are usually high expectations around vacations. A lot of times, the other person is assumed to be on the same page, which can be problematic.”
But don’t necessarily think of vacations as pressure cookers or being all the answers to a healthy relationship.
“Living together can be like a pressure cooker, while vacationing is like cooking rice in a saucepan,” says Brown.
However, “if you aren’t already living together, this can be a sudden change,” adds Pettiford.
reconsidering:The awesome “White Lotus” is back for a second season, and it won’t be that soon
What should couples do to get ready for a vacation?
- Communication, communication, communication. “Try to understand what your partner is looking for outside of the experience as best you can and be sure to express what they want outside of you,” says Pettiford. Brown recommends planning the itinerary together and resolving issues that may arise in advance, such as deciding on transportation and meals.
- Remember, a vacation can’t fix what isn’t working at home. “Couples may have a great time while traveling, and feel a stronger impact than falling back into the doldrums when they get home,” Lee says. “Vacations can be a sprinkler on top of a relationship if the foundation of connection and intimacy is maintained consistently.”
- Save some trouble when you get home. It may be best to put your concerns aside when you return – but when you do, be specific about that time. “Once you’re clear, have a conversation with your partner stating how you felt when certain behaviors occurred while making sure to ask for what you need instead,” Pettiford says. “We are more likely to get our needs met if we ask for what we want.”
- It’s okay to be nervous… “I want to remind anyone who is going on a trip with their partner for the first time, that it is their first time and there can be a lot of anxiety, a lot of expectations, a lot of novelty wrapped up in going on vacation for the first time, a lot of pressure to achieve perfection,” says Brown. .
- …but don’t let that spoil the fun potential. “Often the stress of this can get to us and then we show more anxiety or fear than we’d like,” Brown adds.
Basically, be yourself so you can go home to a happy, healthy relationship — and hopefully a tan.
mood:For The White Lotus set in scenic Sicily, filming often felt like “we were really on vacation.”
#enjoy #White #Lotus #holidays #teach #relationships