a Much of Eva Green’s success is due to her sense of the unknown. This is a woman who stays out of the celebrity circle, not given to blurring out every waking thought on social media. Researchers are constantly struggling to get to the bottom of it. Since her breakout on Bertolucci’s The Dreamers nearly two decades ago, Green has preferred to let her work speak for her. It is a puzzle, an image on a screen with which we can express our feelings.
Or at least they were, because a lot of Eva Green’s WhatsApp messages have been read out in court, oh boy!
Let’s deal with the court case briefly. In 2019, Green signed up for A Patriot, a science fiction film that would also star Charles Dance and Helen Hunt. The film—about a Frontier Corps officer in a future totalitarian state—was never made. When production hit the skids, Green sued the producers for her £830,000 fee (nearly a quarter of the film’s total budget). This caused the producers to strike back, claiming that the reason the film was never made was because Eva Green had tried to sabotage it. She says she did everything she could to meet the terms of her contract and “fully” denies the claim that she did not want the project to succeed.
But the ins and outs of low-budget British film production aren’t why anyone cares about this story. No, the thing that got everyone’s attention was how Eva Green wrote the scripts. Because it turns out that she’s not so much an enigma as the most hysterical singer in the world.
According to court documents, WhatsApp exchanges disclosed in advance of the trial, which begins Tuesday, show Green calling Jake Seal, one of the film’s executive producers, “evil,” “insane,” a “devious sociopath” and my favorite, “pure vomit.” “. Less forceful, but equally hilarious, the words were reserved for another executive producer, Terry Bird, whom she called a “silly moron”. Together, she said, they had “anal holes”.
The scripts seem to stem from Greene’s frustration with the film’s budget, which was apparently half the number she was told. Allegedly, she was also initially granted “approval rights” in connection with hiring the production crew, to ensure “the film is as good as it can be”. However, the producers claim that she simply asked to cast certain members of the crew — an assistant and chauffeur, a make-up artist, an accent coach and a script supervisor — and that when her request was denied, she wrote to her agent saying she would be “obligated to take [the producer’s] Members of a scruffy peasant crew from Hampshire.”
Now, there are two ways of looking at this. The first is to be sad that it is happening at all. For a movie so close to production to be canceled is heartbreaking, and for it to end up that way — in court, with all sorts of private correspondence leaking out into the world — is ugly and humiliating for everyone involved. As recent experiments (like the one involving Johnny Depp and Rebecca Vardy) have shown, very little in life is as insulting as seeing your private messages amplified and distributed for your entertainment. No matter how this case ends, no one will win.
Fortunately, there is a second way to look at it. And that for reading Eva Green’s texts—letters she confidently wrote during what seems to be a truly painful time in her life—and giving the woman a roaring ovation. Because while we live in an age where every celebrity on earth has a hard time creating little YouTube videos where they answer Google questions or eat snacks, it’s clear that Eva Green will do everything she can to separate herself from the rest of us.
seriously. It’s 2023. When was the last time you heard anyone casually refer to others as “peasants”? It doesn’t happen. Even people who might think of others as peasants are wise enough not to actually say it out loud, because they know how far-fetched their voice will sound.
But not Eva Green. She is arrogant and persistent. She knows exactly her place in the world, and would rather die than hang out with the likes of us. Her disdain is palpable, isn’t that exactly what we want in a movie star? Don’t we all, deep down, aspire to be so isolated and untouchable that we can call people holes, idiots, and vomit in text messages? Don’t we want our children to be so well paid that they can slurp the word “peasant” with abandon, and that somehow reinforce their personal brand?
Honestly, the only thing better than Eva Green’s scripts is knowing she’s dictating them to an assistant shivering from a velvet chaise longue, because she simply can’t summon the effort to handwrite them herself. Because that would be the behavior of a real star.
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