You should use more lube

I love lube. For me, sex without lube is like brushing your teeth with a dry toothbrush. It might get the job done, but the result is… sticky, kinda painful, and doesn’t make you feel fresh. Lubricants are not an optional luxury tucked away in a bedside drawer waiting for the “right moment”. Whether you are spending some intimate time with yourself, your partner, or several partners, an intimate lubricant is a must.

No bedroom is complete without at least one or two species on hand, especially if you plan to use sex toys. (You should use sex toys, but that’s another story.) As far as I’m concerned, lube is just as essential to sex as a condom and clean hands. If I come to someone’s house to have a good time and there’s no sled waiting on the counter, I walk out the door.

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No lube, no boob

I was surprised to learn that not everyone is with me on this. In the dorm rooms (though mostly gay and Pacific Western) I’ve been in, lube was as common as bed sheets and tarot cards. If you’ve never tried lube before, or if you have some reservations, this probably isn’t your fault. There are powerful forces working to convince you that you should be out there chasing after them. Dark forces, gathering in the night, who only seek to disturb your genitals.

One such insidious creature is his misogynist – he tells us that using intimate lubricants is a kind of failure; That needing it for sex is a failure on your part or on your partner’s part. whispers: How dare you not get wetter. There must be something wrong with your body.

Another monster under the bed is manhood. It tells us that using lubricants means that you are a bad lover and that you failed to get your partner excited. It’s all nonsense. There is nothing wrong with your body. There is nothing wrong with your style. Sometimes our bodies don’t do what we want them to, surprise, surprise, sometimes our genitals don’t behave the way movies, TV, books, and porn tell us to.

Pleasure is not the enemy

What is frustrating is that these attitudes continue to shape not only popular opinion but also medical research in the field of sexual health. Most of the studies I looked at while researching this story on intimate lubricants focused on treating the problem. I’ve only found one or two that even mention sexual pleasure, and one of them is a study of how few articles there are about sexual health Mention sexual pleasure. It’s 2022, can we please stop pretending people shouldn’t have fun getting off? Or is sexual pleasure not important? Because it is. Put that Plymouth-rock-puritanical-Hester-Brain nonsense in the rear view.

Anyone who’s touched themselves knows that a little something extra (saliva, naturally occurring moisture, etc.) makes them feel better. And the Good feeling It’s the whole point! Water-based or silicone-based lubricants made with high-quality ingredients can be like rocket fuel for your sexual pleasure.

Not only does it prevent chafing (and microscopic tears) on the most sensitive parts of the body, it also makes things feel a whole lot better. Lubricants are similar to MSG. It makes everything better, and some people are strangely afraid of it.

Let’s get down to business

Well, where do you start? Pea Plain: Order yourself a bottle of any unscented, unflavored, glycerin-free, water-based lube. You don’t want any scent, because that’s when you are in focusIt’ll make things smell weird. (It’s the same deal with flavored oils.) Ideally, you want lubes with as few ingredients as possible. Keep it simple.

Brands like Sl Liquid fit the bill and feel comfortable to use on any genitalia, plus they’re inexpensive. In my experience, they can leave you feeling a little sticky afterward. For a more premium lube, I’d point you to the ones from Maude or Dame. These lubricants meet the above criteria but leave a nice finish and last a bit longer when applied.

The other main type of lube you will encounter is silicone. These lubricants are oil-based, which means they last much longer Over water-based lubricants, because your body won’t absorb them as quickly; It makes them the most popular choice for anal play and anal sex. However, it can interfere with the vaginal flora, so it is generally not recommended for use in vaginal play or vaginal sex.

There’s also another big caveat with silicone-based lubes: You can’t use them on silicone sex toys. Silicone lube can make silicone toys degrade over time. If you are using silicone lubes with a silicone toy, be sure to use a condom. My favorites here are from the same brands mentioned above: Sl Liquid and Maude.

Other than that, my only advice left is: play! Play with yourself. Grab a glider, make some time, grab a favorite game, and go ham. The only way to learn how to use lubes is to use them, and the best way to practice them is with yourself. Find out how well you can apply them, how often you want to use them, and where is the best place to store them. Sex should be easy, friction-free, and feel good — and good lube will help with all three.

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